a lost & wandering lamb



i have never considered myself a lost & wondering sheep... "sinner? yes." but "lost? no." thats for those who have strayed away from the Lord or who has had their own agenda since the beginning of time, but me? no. little nobody me has been good and straight for quite some time... oh but thats is the problem.

see i'm the eldest child. who know, the guinea pig of all parenting. the one your parents learn what they should or shouldn't do with the rest of the kids they have. my mom called me the "fair police." oh gosh was i ever. anything my brothers had i felt like i was owed the same. if something had to be split, well, she had me cut it and then my brother choose. it was the only way i felt like it would be fair, i guess. As the eldest, you tend to be the rule follower, some call it "goody two shoes" or "teachers pet". yup those were all my names. But even as an adult i find myself comparing what i have and don't have to others especially my family...what the heck. so wrong. i don't know why. its such a root heart issue that I have always struggled with and I can see it as i look back at my life. I get all bent out shape STILL when things don't look equal especially for my family who has lived this life of following the rules, not being needy, not squandering what has been given to us, and always being thankful.

WAKE UP CALL!!!

i am the older brother in the parable of the prodigal son.  whoa!!! and not in a good way. the older brother was all up in anger when his brother came home and his father through a big old feast, or lets just say, a Party. This younger brother squandered EVERYTHING on prostitutes, material things, whatever he saw, but the older brother stayed home worked hard, did everything his father asked of him and never saw anything for it. So this older brother was furious because his father lavished clothes & food at his long lost son whom he thought he would never see. is that you? because that would have totally been me. maybe not to that extreme, but sure i would have compared myself and said wait a minute....i have been here doing everything you asked, doing more than that and you haven't done anything to celebrate me....

pause for a second

have you noticed that we are such transactional beings? "if i serve you then you serve me" if I buy you dinner, you can get the coffee afterwards" or have you seen this one? #followforfollow #likeforlike (its the i do therefore i get attitude) BUT our God isn't. HE LOVES US because we are that VALUABLE not because we did anything to deserve it.

photos taken by my daughter Joy 

i'm sorry but this little sheep has been comparing people and putting distance between me and my Father for quite sometime and when you are excited about seeing yourself and seeing your Father in a whole new light you just have to SHARE.  i will admit it openly because i think it needs to be out there for everyone to see, but i am one of those christians who goes to church and then lacks in prayer & devotion time during the week... who is insecure and thinks anything i do is a failure or won't measure up... that some how my value and worth is wrapped up in what people say i am. WRONG! praise the Lord i'm not believing in that lie anymore...

Please Read Luke 15:11-32.

If you are interested go take a listen to the sermons done on this chapter. First & Second (not up quite yet will tag when its available)

sorry this post might be so confusing...but i think i just need to write my thoughts down. God definitely didn't give me the gifts of words and writing, but thats okay!

side side note: my name means little lamb

Shirt: H&M
Pants: H&M 
Necklace: Forever21
Shoes: Macys

Crunch Time

**WARNING** blog hacked by the truly amazing husband.

So here we are less than a month to go from going to meet our son for the first time, and it is crunch time. I am a big sports fan and as any good sports fan knows, crunch time is all that matters. Miracles can and do happen weekly in every sport in the last 2 minutes, and that is where we are with our journey to adopt Ezra!

The biggest need we have as always is spiritual. If you have been apart of an adoption journey before you know the struggles that kids go through as they get acclimated to a new world. New sounds, languages, people, skin color, food, house, time zone, and climate. These are all giant things and if we got thrown into them as adults we would be off center, grouchy and inconsolable. That doesn't even include the unconscious cloud that hangs over their heads by being abandoned by the people in their lives that should have loved and cherished them. Unless you have been abandoned, you can not understand the anxiety and shame that clouds your entire existence. All of these things are wound and bound up in our beautiful little boy, and he doesn't even understand it. And frankly neither do we. I say all of that to try to convey the idea that we covet your prayers. We need all of you praying for our little boy and our family as he and we grow together. If nothing else, please stop right now and pray for Ezra Barker. I can wait... This is the most important part that you will read in the post so please, do it, just do it.


Thank you for praying for us.

As you all know we have continually asked all of you to be a part of this journey financially as well and God has provided amazingly and abundantly above what we could ever dream. Every deadline there was a check under our door, or a new friend giving through PayPal, or parents coming along side and blessing, you have no idea how lucky we feel to be surrounded by family, friends and a church that have such a passionate heart for the orphans of the world. And so we have been blessed again financially. We applied for a matching grant through Lifesong for orphans (lifesongfororphans.org) and received news last week that we were given a $3000 matching grant. Now I am sure you have read every word that my wife has put out, but the last number we said we needed was around 8,000$, well as of last week that was down to $6,000 and then we got news about this grant. And so basically instead of needing to find another 6000$ we only need to find $3,000 more! How crazy is that!!!! We have already raised some of the money, but we wanted to give everyone the opportunity to be a part of this and extending your gifts to us by double. You all are smarties, so I don't have to explain this to you, but I will anyway. If you give 50$, we get 100$. If you give 1000$, we get 2,000$! You get to double your money! It's amazing and crazy!

If you would like to take advantage of this matching grant to bless us, here is the info:

-Checks should be payable to “Lifesong for Orphans. In the memo, note “family name” and “family account number” (Barker / #5657) to assure it goes to the correct account. Please mail to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744. Lifesong has been blessed with a partner that underwrites all U.S. administrative and fundraising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners). That means 100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption. 

-To pay online go to www.lifesongfororphans.org/give/donate. Select “Give to an Adoptive Family.” Complete the online form and fill in “Family Account Number” and “Family Name” fields. Note PayPal charges an administrative fee (2.9% + $.30 USD per transaction). Your donation will be decreased by the amount of this fee.

Like I said if you checked out after praying for us, no worries. You did the important part. God has blessed us just to have everyone of you that is reading this in our lives. Thank you again for caring. Thank you for spending 10 minutes reading and praying about and for us. We will continue to update you as time and occasion allows! Until next time, Pray4Ezra.

Tim

Coming all Together

my excitement is hardly containable... there has been a missing piece to our family for quite some time and that piece is our sweet son Ezra who lives in South Korea. we are happy to announce that we will be traveling in the beginning of November to go "meet" our son.  "meet"? yes, this is the first trip of two that we will have to make which just tears me apart. how am i suppose to leave my son once I have just been united with him? we will come home and wait anywhere from 2-6wks for a phone call to go get him. our hope & prayer is that he will be home before the christmas. the korean government takes a hiatus over the holidays and all of january which would means if we couldn't get our visas before christmas we are waiting til February. i'm am resting in the Lord for he knows the plans before us and He is sovereign over all.

i just thought we would share a little bit of why we wanted to adopt.


Adoption Testimony

Tim:

I grew up in a Christian and loving home. Throughout the years I saw my parents extend themselves to help people that weren’t family and were barely friends and for me I believe that that is the basis of my desire to adopt and share Christ love with others in our home.

With my parents worldview as a basis I would say that the need for adoption became real for me over the years as I went on missions trips to 3rd world countries. We would travel through slums and minister to those with no hope. The women would literally beg the adults in our group to take their kids so that they could have the opportunities that growing up in India, china, Thailand, the West Bank, and panama couldn’t give. We would see kids rummaging through trash piles and picking out food and scraps just trying to find a way survive another day and possibly even supporting their families through this means.

I know  that these times out of country and ministering to orphans and widows and the destitute was a building block on why I want to adopt today. I have always loved Asia. The months that I spent in Asia as a teenager cemented a love of their culture and people. This is why I have always had a heart for them.

Rachel:

I never had to live under bridge, beg for money, or dig thru trash for cents a day; but I was brought up in a home where we loved the least of these. We would pick up that homeless man on the side of the street and get him breakfast and drop him of where he needed to go even when we are running late for church. We were taught to have compassion for the lady waving for help because her boyfriend had beaten her the night before. We were taught to love and care for the homeless, the widows, and the orphans at the cost of giving up being comfortable. Living a normal life with a normal routine wasn’t the goal. For my family, the goal was serve those around us with no expectation of ever seeing anything in return.

My mom says that I have always had a heart for Asia. I would always gravitate to people of other ethnic backgrounds and want to learn their cultures, but there was always something about Asia. I remember as a young girl watching a film put together by a non-profit organization that took care of orphan babies in china. I cried thru the entire film, in my heart I couldn’t bare the idea that a parent would not love and care for such a beautiful child who can’t help themselves. It was at that point that I knew I wanted to do something to help these babies. It was like God visually showed me His heart and laid this burden for orphans on me.

I went on to travel to several Asian countries and my heart and love for the people grew. The burden I felt also grew. And now several years later I find myself with the same passion and love for people, which leads us to adopt a child and provide a forever home for an abandoned child. I know our journey doesn’t stop here, but until God reveals the next step I’m thankful that He has placed this desire on our hearts.

Together:

Once we got married, and even before, we talk about our shared desire to bring an orphan into our home. We have always believed that it was our responsibility to take care of those who couldn’t care for themselves, whether that is our 75 year old neighbor, the 20 year old single mother who got kicked out of her house, or a child on the other side of the world.

We seek to be a blessing because we are blessed. We believe that the promise and the challenge that God gave to Abraham and fulfilled through Christ of being a blessing to the entire world should manifest itself in our everyday lives. We don’t do it for the happy bubbly feelings, or the weird looks from people in the mall. We do it because it is what Christ called us to and because he did it we have no choice but to follow his example.

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|| tag our bag || we would love for you to partner with us in bringing home our son Ezra Taeyul Barker. as our last efforts in raising money for our adoption we chose to write the names individuals & families on ezra's carry-on luggage. we thought this would not only be a great way to see the families who supported us and are praying during our travel, but a physical way to show ezra all the people who care, love, and helped bring him home. 

|| let's cover his bag in names ||


          

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