[adoption] - the beginnings

10:38 AM

My husband and I’s heart has been burdened to adopt for a long time, well before we even knew each other. We have had many up and downs along the way. We started seriously researching information right after our second child, Joy, was born. I was beyond excited when mail and phone calls started to flood in. Just looking through the information gave me goosebumps. After several conversations I started to hear things that crushed me. At the time I was only 21. I know I know. I was a baby to even be thinking about adopting my third child. But my heart was ready and willing.

I thought I had heard everything. “You are too young”, “Your youngest is too young.”, “Adopting for that particular country will take 4 years”, “that country is closing the doors.” “You have too many kids.” I think the hardest part for me to process is that these wonderfully created children just need a loving family, but they are putting all these restrictions in place that does the opposite. Another thing I just had to surrender to the Lord.

Resurrection church was putting on an adoption expo and awareness seminar for a day. We were ecstatic to go and learn about the reality of adopting and struggles that come with it. But that very morning we found out I was pregnant with number 3. I won’t lie. I just balled my eyes out. I had planned everything out. I would have 2 and then adopt, and finish off with having another. See in my mind I wanted the adopted child to feel like they were thought of before our children arrived, that they were planned. For some reason, for me, adopting after you are done having your biological felt like an after thought. And I wanted this child to feel like they were planned and desired from the beginning. Now, obviously, that thought process is flawed, but that is where i was.

I ended up having a miscarriage with that child, and several more after. I kept on wondering why God would allow all the pregnancies for nothing. Why couldn’t He have just let us adopt. It would have worked out perfectly. And i still some times wonder why. But it doesn’t matter. God’s time in all of it is perfect and His thoughts are higher than ours.

We did end up having a third biological child, Rowan, who is now almost 2. And he is a ball of smiles and love that i can't imagine life without.

We started the process with Bethany Christian Services, here in Grand Rapids, but after the formal application was approved and the classes began, Tim and I both felt uneasy and weren’t on the same page. That was the last thing I wanted, to not be in it together. So we called them and let them know that we were no longer going to be needing their services and appreciated their invested time in us. After lots of prayer and advice from other families we started do more research on agencies. We ended up finding an agency that seemed to fit us perfectly, the agency is called AIAA (Americans for International Aid & Adoption). They were recommended to us from another agency I had contacted. I quickly called them and knew immediately that this would be the agency we would go with. I had Tim call them with another list of questions and it almost seemed unreal how it lined up with everything we were hoping for. Tim was excited. I was excited. We couldn’t wait to get things started. We are now OFFICIALLY adopting from SOUTH KOREA.

We have finally reached the point of starting our home study and psychological tests. Our first step is to raise $2,500 to begin the home study process and after that, another $29,000. We can’t do this alone. We would love for you to pray for our family as we go through this process. Our God is faithful, and we know He can supply our every need.

I will be updating my blog with our progress and upcoming fundraisers. Please feel free to email me or contact me if you have questions and or ideas. If you want to help but don't know how Check out our gofundme.com/thebarkeradoption

thanks friends!