In whom I Delight

{adoption} bike-a-thon

i'm excited to announce that my husband is doing a bike-a-thon to raise money for our adoption. he is challenging himself to ride well over a 100 miles for the month of September. we are hoping that you will prayerfully consider sponsoring him per mile. not only is this an opportunity to support our adoption but it is an opportunity to challenge tim to push harder to meet a goal weight.

there are a couple of ways to do this:

-comment below with $/mile

-private message tim or i with $/mile

-private message tim on his bike-a-thon Facebook page

-a one time donate below

8:36 PM
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[adoption] - psychological tests

adoption

one step forward.

if i think about about the overall process of adopting, it overwhelms me. all the paperwork. all the spent money on tests, agency fees, specific needed government papers. all the personal questions. all fundraising. all of it.

but i'm learning that i need to only be focusing on the task ahead of me. to take one step at a time. and to be excited when a step has been taken.

"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." - Matthew 6:24

i have come back to this verse over and over in my life. and it has come back again as we are trying to tackle the task for the day. today, it was going in for our psychological interview, to figure out what 2 tests we should take. this is a new requirement for adopting from South Korea, due to the death of a 3 year old boy in Maryland after only being place in his new adopted home for a year.more details

so yes, i do understand why this is being implemented, but when i hear the word - TEST - it brings me back to being in high school or college preparing for exams. the anxiety i would get staring at the questions. and the anxiety again waiting for the results. and the word - PSYCHOLOGICAL - just makes me think of schizophrenia, or someone who just isn't all there. so i'll give you a glimpse of what goes through my head. (what if i fail a test that now tells me i'm psycho?) haha! i'm writing this and it sounds absolutely hilarious, but it seriously crossed my mind. oh dear!!

we sit down to meet the doctor and right off the cuff he is asking if we have any mental issues he should know of. "do you or have you struggled with depression or anxiety?" my heart is racing at this point. i don't want to lie but i don't want to be completely honest because i don't want to hurt our chances of adopting. knowing my character i can't lie. i reluctantly tell him about my anxiety with tests and all that i went through with my parents divorce and most recently the postpartum depression i had after Joy was born. as i sit there i'm analyzing every word that comes out of my mouth. slip of the tongue i say, "i like things done right and a certain way." oops! he then asks "would you say you are OCD?" this is why i have a hard time psychologist. sometimes i feel like they want to grasp at a diagnosis that isn't there. then, he goes through the process with Tim. he reassures us (more like me) that we seem like a great couple & great family, that we have nothing to worry about, that the korean agencies just want to make sure we aren't homicidal and that he believes we are far from that. phew....

one step completed. we are moving forward with tests next week!

http://www.gofundme.com/thebarkeradoption

12:35 PM
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[adoption] - the beginnings

adoption

My husband and I’s heart has been burdened to adopt for a long time, well before we even knew each other. We have had many up and downs along the way. We started seriously researching information right after our second child, Joy, was born. I was beyond excited when mail and phone calls started to flood in. Just looking through the information gave me goosebumps. After several conversations I started to hear things that crushed me. At the time I was only 21. I know I know. I was a baby to even be thinking about adopting my third child. But my heart was ready and willing.

I thought I had heard everything. “You are too young”, “Your youngest is too young.”, “Adopting for that particular country will take 4 years”, “that country is closing the doors.” “You have too many kids.” I think the hardest part for me to process is that these wonderfully created children just need a loving family, but they are putting all these restrictions in place that does the opposite. Another thing I just had to surrender to the Lord.

Resurrection church was putting on an adoption expo and awareness seminar for a day. We were ecstatic to go and learn about the reality of adopting and struggles that come with it. But that very morning we found out I was pregnant with number 3. I won’t lie. I just balled my eyes out. I had planned everything out. I would have 2 and then adopt, and finish off with having another. See in my mind I wanted the adopted child to feel like they were thought of before our children arrived, that they were planned. For some reason, for me, adopting after you are done having your biological felt like an after thought. And I wanted this child to feel like they were planned and desired from the beginning. Now, obviously, that thought process is flawed, but that is where i was.

I ended up having a miscarriage with that child, and several more after. I kept on wondering why God would allow all the pregnancies for nothing. Why couldn’t He have just let us adopt. It would have worked out perfectly. And i still some times wonder why. But it doesn’t matter. God’s time in all of it is perfect and His thoughts are higher than ours.

We did end up having a third biological child, Rowan, who is now almost 2. And he is a ball of smiles and love that i can't imagine life without.

We started the process with Bethany Christian Services, here in Grand Rapids, but after the formal application was approved and the classes began, Tim and I both felt uneasy and weren’t on the same page. That was the last thing I wanted, to not be in it together. So we called them and let them know that we were no longer going to be needing their services and appreciated their invested time in us. After lots of prayer and advice from other families we started do more research on agencies. We ended up finding an agency that seemed to fit us perfectly, the agency is called AIAA (Americans for International Aid & Adoption). They were recommended to us from another agency I had contacted. I quickly called them and knew immediately that this would be the agency we would go with. I had Tim call them with another list of questions and it almost seemed unreal how it lined up with everything we were hoping for. Tim was excited. I was excited. We couldn’t wait to get things started. We are now OFFICIALLY adopting from SOUTH KOREA.

We have finally reached the point of starting our home study and psychological tests. Our first step is to raise $2,500 to begin the home study process and after that, another $29,000. We can’t do this alone. We would love for you to pray for our family as we go through this process. Our God is faithful, and we know He can supply our every need.

I will be updating my blog with our progress and upcoming fundraisers. Please feel free to email me or contact me if you have questions and or ideas. If you want to help but don't know how Check out our gofundme.com/thebarkeradoption

thanks friends!

10:38 AM
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{Sweet & Salty Summer Salad}

food

For me, lunch can be the forgotten meal. I don't like to slow down & make myself something. I would rather grab something quick; part of that is being lazy & the other part is that I have 3 other kids to worry about. I'm always trying to get the youngest down for a nap & to me that means free time, but not really. I'm thinking about the gazillion things i need to do for laced arrow, dōTERRA essential oils, the house, the kids, etc... food psh... yes, i hear the grumbling sounds of my stomach at 3pm, but I tend to ignore them. Or better yet grab something terrible like chocolate or cup of coffee. ah!

I found myself being a hypocrite. Here i am telling my husband guidelines for eating paleo but then I would half cheat. what? i caught myself the other day doing this and absolutely felt awful about it. I'm a very black & white, no grey which leaves very little grace (my husband is working with me on this, definitely difficult. So i had started paleo at the EXTREME and then i stopped (not completely), but definitely when i was alone. Anyways, i don't know why i'm saying all this but i'm realizing that i can't do this to my husband if i'm not willing to do it myself. paleo is just SO hard for someone who loves their bread, who loves beans, and love SUGAR! And well i love sugar and realizing that it something i now struggle with since having children.

So i'm not one who takes time to put together a meal plan. if i see a recipe that looks good i might try it, but generally, i'm a look in your refrigerator and put something together. I try not to let anything go to waste. So for lunch this is what I came up from my refrigerator and turned out absolutely delicious. This would be perfect for a side dish at dinner or like me, just by itself for lunch.

I hope you like it!

Sweet & Salty Summer Salad

serves: 1-2

ingredients:

1 - bell pepper whatever color is your favorite ( i used yellow)

1 - avocado (cubed)

1 - cucumber ( cut into quarters)

1/3 cup - red onion ( i only had a sweet onion)

1 - mango (cubed)

1 1/2 cups - fresh cut pineapple (i grilled mine first for extra flavor)

3 tbsp - Garlic expressions dressing (or to your preference)

1/4 teaspoon - ground cumin

2 tbsp - chopped fresh cilantro

pinch of red pepper flakes

other tasty add-ins: corn, black beans, tomatoes

I would love to hear your thoughts or what maybe you did differently!

12:18 PM
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[its arrived] - laced arrow

etsyshop

my excitement is going through the roof right now. i have been dreaming of opening an etsy shop for literally years. i mean a long time! So for me, i kind of feel like i'm scratching something off my bucket list.

anyways, i'm starting this etsy shop with one main purpose. ORPHANS. yup! my heart has been broken and aching for orphans since i was a little girl. "what are your thoughts about adopting?" it was one of the first questions i asked my husband (boyfriend then) because it is so important to me to help change the lives of the little ones who don't have mommies or daddies. my husband and i want to adopt and have wanted to for years now, but have been waiting patiently for the Lord to direct us where to adopt from & what agency to work through. i have cried too many times asking the Lord "why haven't you fulfilled this promise you gave me years ago?" the obviously answer he gave me is "in my time". so in this waiting period i have wanted to start saving and helping others who are in the process of adopting, helping those who have opened their homes to foster care system, and families who have already adopted but are in need of financial assistance.

all this to say. IT IS HERE!

Here is what i need from you!

>>Follow on instagram<<>>Share<<>>Tag @lacedarrow #lovemylacedarrows<<

thank you so much for being apart of this new adventure

8:00 AM
1 Comments

{Therapeutic Play Time}

I am always struggling to figure out what to do with my kids once they get back from school or that time between dinner and bed time. My kids tend to have a lot of energy especially right before bed. They are go go go... all the time. I will be the first to admit I don't like letting my kids do things that make a big mess. But my kids have mentioned a few times that at school they have tub of beans&rice they have played with for sensory skills. So I thought I might do my own version to help relax them.

So this is a DIY for making Lavender Rice for both calming them down and sensory skills. This is especially great to play with before bed. Enjoy!!

Get a zipbloc bag and scoop as much uncooked rice as you think you would need for your children. I used about 7 cups.

Then blend your red and blue food coloring dye in a separate bowl to make purple. This is obviously not necessary its just makes the rice look fun & pretty for the kids.

Mix well.

Either you can let it sit over night to dry or put it on a really low setting in your oven for a few minutes.

Once dry. Add your Lavender Essential Oil. I used a good 8-10 drops.

You could also add in lavender flower buds.

They will have so much fun playing & smelling the rice.

You can also substitute the Lavender for Eucalyptus, orange blossom, or another favorite essential oil.

Click here if you want to know more about what Lavender can do for you! Or email me if you have questions!

rbarker.doterra@gmail.com

8:23 AM
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[bundle of sweetness]

photography

wow! God is amazing!He is the creator of all things and i just love being apart taking pictures of his creations. 

i had the lovely opportunity to have fun and take a couple of pictures of my friend Nikki and her newborn Landon. All though in these pictures he isn't so newborn he is actually 3 weeks old. This sweet little boy was born 4 weeks early, but he was perfectly healthy and absolutely adorable. Enjoy!