[little faith]

7:23 PM

i find myself anxious and stressed about so many things. i am realizing more and more how much i struggle with control not just in myself but with others, especially the ones closest to me, my husband and children.  i can't just let my husband throw a load of laundry in... no no no of course not, i have to micro manage every step of the way to make sure its done exactly the way i would do.  i can't just let the kids put stickers on a piece of paper how they want; they have to be right side up. oh my!!! what am i doing? do i have little faith in my husband and children?

lately, i have been stressing about all the things coming up both this summer and fall. caleb starts kindergarten. joy starts preschool. a very intense israel trip. and the list goes on & on. i have started doubting decisions we made a while ago. how are we going to make all this happen? i was talking to tim about everything that was weighing me down. he says, "do you not trust me? do you not have faith that i will figure it out or better that God will provide?" wow. i never thought of it as not trusting him. i quickly replied to him saying, "i do trust you", but when i honestly looked inside i knew i was doubting him and most importantly God. i felt like i was Peter on the boat looking out at Jesus walking on water saying, "command me to come out to you" i started to walk on water until the winds blew & then i started to sink - "Lord save me". he grabs me and says, "o, you of little faith, why do you doubt?"[Matthew 14:22-33] 


if you are like me i feel like i have to remind myself of the following passage frequently...

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"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin,yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?Therefore do not be anxious, saying, "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?"For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

***


i am so far from perfect & i have so many struggles, but i am so thankful for a God who takes on my burdens for me. who is beyond sufficient for me. thank you Lord that i don't have to worry about tomorrow!




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1 comments

  1. rachel, such a good reminder to surrender all we have and hold onto so tightly to Him, who is the great Provider and is the most trustworthy of all. I understand the worry and doubt all too well, but as I learn to surrender and trust, His presence and promise are made known all the more clearer.
    love you.

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